Before you start reading, I strongly suggest checking out the links below.
Alright, you’re all caught up now, right? As you can see, things weren’t going so well for the Gravy family in the first half of 2018. Then it all turned around. In fact, it has turned around so much that now I can look back and say the suffering I went through was oddly necessity. If none of it ever happened, I wouldn’t be in the place I am today. It’s crazy to think and say that now considering the physical and mental anguish I endured. Life is completely different than it was only a year ago even in the best of times. It is truly like night and day.
This small update serves as the epilogue to the three posts above and provides a glimpse into the foreseeable future. It’s also a nice way to get back into the writing groove. It’s been a long while since these fingers typed for anything other than work emails and data entry. However, as the words flow out of me the old, familiar feeling is awakening once more. The keys feel comfortable and inviting. My mind is full of ideas and so are my notebooks. I want to get back into the saddle and focus once more on my craft. I’m hopeful, excited, and ready to share myself with the world again.
For starters, on November 15th, 2019, Mrs. Gravy and I closed on our first home. We’d been renting a small one-bedroom apartment for the past five years and one of our major life goals has always been to move into a place to call our own. Lucky for us, we found a place we loved and felt like we could make a home. We moved into the house over the last week and we’re almost finished with getting everything into place.
The best part about the new house is getting a home office/den/man-cave. All the video game consoles are set up in there along with the big screen television. There’s a corner where I’m having a brand new desk installed along with my PC. It’s isolated, comfortable, and conductive to the type of environment I require for writing. It’s certainly a treat and something I’ve wanted for a very long time. Hopefully, it’ll encourage my output.
A lot of what made getting the house possible was another recent job change. While the spice company I worked for presented an excellent opportunity to learn a brand-new industry and work with incredible talented and awesome people, the most important thing I got out of it was the ability to confront all the awful thoughts about myself I’d internalized over the time I was unemployed. It also didn’t earn me quite enough to make the jump into home ownership either. Fortunately, this changed in a rather unexpected and surprising manner.
Right in the middle of September 2019, my old boss from the original company I’d been working with called me up out of the blue with a job opportunity. He’d been terminated from our old workplace a few weeks before I was handed my pink slip so there wasn’t any hostility toward him in the least. If anything, he urged my original employer to keep me on through the changes they made, but of course, he was ignored on his way out the door.
This new opportunity was leaps and bounds ahead of my current job. It wouldn’t require a complicated learning curve since I am already familiar with the computer system. On the plus side, I’ll be learning a brand-new skill set which will come in handy should the need change jobs arise again. There are some downsides, of course. I’m commuting to New York City five days a week. My old job was a twenty minute drive away. Not only is it adding hours to the commute but it’s also expensive for a monthly bus ticket. There is hope on the horizon as once I am able to perform the job to the satisfaction of my employer’s I’ll be able to work from home full-time which also means additional writing time and the comfort of not having to jam into a crowded bus for two hours.
In case you haven’t noticed, throughout this whole update, I haven’t mentioned anything about anxiety, panic attacks, or depression. With time, all those negative feelings about myself are gone now except for my anxiety. I think I’ve always had a bit of an issue with it. Just ask my non-existent fingernails. I’ve constantly chewed my nails. I could be the spokesperson for one of those commercials about restless leg syndrome. I’m always a bit nervous when thrown into new situations. It’s always going to be a constant battle in my life to feel comfortable in uncertain and unpredictable situations. I think might be a universal trait. Then again, some people thrive in whatever environment they’re thrown into. I wish I could be a little more like that.
I haven’t had any panic attacks since July 2018. Mrs. Gravy’s words of wisdom and support truly made a difference. She’s an excellent woman. As for depression, I can’t say I’m experiencing it anymore. Maybe I was wrong to call it depression earlier in my posts. Can depression be temporary? I know there is clinical depression which never goes away but does what I experience count as depression? I guess that’s for me to answer or for a trained therapist to chime in on.
For now, things are going great and that’s all anyone can ever ask for. The new job and the new house certainly have been exciting. However, I do wonder one thing. Where do I go from here? What comes next? Is this happiness only temporary or will it all come crashing down like some pleasant dream invaded by Freddy Kruger flipped into a nightmarish world of violence and bad puns?
I don’t know. However, one thing is for certain. I’m going to be writing again throughout it. With the completion of Horror d’Oeuvres – Unjust Desserts, I’m free to continue working on my collections again. I hope to have the first released sometime in early March. Considering I’m going to be editing old stories, I don’t think it should take me as long. Then again, every time I start working at something, I end up taking it completely apart and starting all over again. Who knows?
If you’ve read this far, thanks for sticking it out with me for all this time. I’ll be trying to post again to Reddit since that is where my audience thrives. Expect some new stories to come up soon.